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Hubbie won't do da laundry

needs to look like Dear Abby



Oh Bizerk in Berkeley,

If we could measure the Berzerkedness of the partners who have this exact quandary all over this great continent, and all six others surrounding, we would be wild with warrior-ness, which is what the Berzerks were, which were a specific group of warriors. Yes, this makes you a warrior. 



I learned of one origin of Berserk that goes to Iceland- a field literally called Berzerker Field because not only is it insanely odd it its geology - one of those mystery spots on earth, but because it was the locale of a battle in which folks went berzerk, described in my 1-inch of online research as:


This fury, which was called berserkergang, occurred not only in the heat of battle, but also during laborious work. Men who were thus seized performed things which otherwise seemed impossible for human power. This condition is said to have begun with shivering, chattering of the teeth, and chill in the body, and then the face swelled and changed its colour. With this was connected a great hot-headedness, which at last gave over into a great rage, under which they howled as wild animals, bit the edge of their shields, and cut down everything they met without discriminating between friend or foe. When this condition ceased, a great dulling of the mind and feebleness followed, which could last for one or several days.[27]


Is that you? Yeah, thought so. And now you are in the feeble zone. Alas! No worries. I’m got some classic reframe that you can probably dig. We are about to come back to life!

First off, know your husband has company, sharing evidence-based shame along with empty-toilet-paper-roll offenders, last-bite-in-the-fridge transgressors (so they don’t need to do the dish), and various other micro-aggressors that offend openly in the household. I suspect they are crying for help.

There is hope. Trust me. 


Here’s the deal: There is a principle, in the yoga tradition called Saucha. It’s one of my favorites. It is about purification, and the way I see it in this case, cleanliness. In many ways Saucha can be seen as cleansing the the mind and body to prevent disease, and can also be that for the space in which the mind and the body reside- often times, and if we are lucky, a house. Caring for the house- cleaning it, minding our things- the things that we create mess with- is an act of devotion. Your husband, as you will be well affirmed, is causing, and likely feeling some some dis-ease with his seeming inability to put the dirty laundry in the basket.


This is often categorized as a lack of respect, but I don’t think it is. There are two things that could be happening: 1. He is lazy from exhaustion, which could be true. 2. He has not yet felt the boon of caring for himself and reaping the energetic reward… 

The placement of objects to where they don’t belong might signal a lapse in the desire to keep the space energetically clean, and wooooo! If he felt that magic, he might even spray and wipe the counters in the kitchen, and generally partake in the beauty of life that happens when we take care of not only our bodies, but also our spaces. Not to mention, since that space is shared, how that will affect you, too.


The gesture of tidy-ing up, as Marie Kondo has generously and capitalistically shared with us, creates space in the mind, and thus- space in the heart, and clarity in places in life we never realized we needed it. The act of cleaning up is an attention-making practice that has tremendous impact on the commute to work which extends to gentleness of thought and word, and, a sense of ownership of an emotional situation, and as they say when they are trying to sell something, more! 


I recommend taking the woo woo approach and talk about the energy in the house and how awesome it is when we take care of ourselves in these small ways. In other words, putting the BVD’s in the basket could bring more ease across more aspects of your home than you ever thought possible. Get excited.

May you move from berserk to bhavalicious,

Your Yogi





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