The Torah. It is my o.g. root text.
I translated it as a child in Hebrew School- which was not an after-school thing, but a full-day affair. What I knew is that the torah, of course not for me to touch- and even if I had a cock and balls, I would still only be able to read it with a silver hand, called a yad. My hand, then a little hand coming out of my hand.
The laws about sanctitude in the conservative branch of Judaism are deep, serious, and wounding for women. It took til 2003 to have a woman scribe a torah. Man, do I wish I could get my hand to touch that sacred text. Alas...
But, tonight, in all this project-ness, and the desire to paint the written word- something I am practicing on this residency here in Wyoming, is real.
The mantra - we say it and we say it and we say it to learn it and it is a tool (*cite chanting piece here),
I spent some time with scripture - this time Patanjali's sutras, and I started on the 3rd book, because shoot- I'm ready. I've been reciting the first three for over 10 years after my practice- they work. I draw up to myself in a carriage each and every time. Atha Yoganussasanam. Yoga Citta Vritti Nirodah. Tada Drashtuhu Svarupe Avastanam.
It's time to move forward...I'm going to skip around, investigate what resonates. I've always had trouble going in order, anyway.
Mic drop moment:
MAITRY-ADISU BALANI.
translation: Meditate on love, and it will give you the strength.
There are many strengths thereafter- talking about subduing hunger, physical strength. I am that, essentially. Before finding this one (which is the only underlined one) I began to scribe each sutra onto a large sheets of paper. I made few mistakes, I read aloud before I wrote. It doesn't matter if there "is something there" or not. I am floored. Studying. Transcribing. And scribing. With freedom. Grateful.
Reminds me instantaneously about my first meeting with grandmother and grandfather of the natural world, and how the one message was this: your art is a flag that you fly to bring forward the people in your life that should be there. May it be so.
